weeeee. i was so amazed that friendster blog updated their features. well honestly saying. friendster blogs been boring for quite some time until now. *3 cheers!*

just updated my other livejournal. please do visit http://renafterhours.blogspot.com that is. if you don’t mind. wee,

im into soulsearching  for the rest of my life and, i never stopped. i guess im tired of something really usual. i want an abstract, i want art. i want the world. im really planning to tour the whole universe (quite exaggerating. lol) after this course.. (OMG! Ren, you’re not a million-dollar teen!) .

you know that. when you really want something and you just can’t have it. you pity yourself for not getting and for not trying. oh damn hell people. there’s no harm in trying. why do people act as if they care but they just don’t.  why do you really need to do things for them knowing that you’ll not getting something in return. why do you need to love them? why do you need to feel the hurt? why you can’t just stop?

tell me. why do– need all these. because im a human?.. im a girl? im what?.. im really tired pretending that im alright.  im sick of it. it sucks. it kills me. fed-up. i want to show them what im really capable of. and find them begging me to stay and to come back into their damn stupid life.

i pity you people for doing this to me. treating me like a trash is what makes you happy? well then, bring it on. . im not afraid to let you go. actually, you’re not really mine aight. i, just myself pretending that you feel that stupid feeling too.  do you want me to just act as if i don’t know you. do you want me to let you go?.. well then, it’s my pleasure..

i’ll make you feel that your sorry cause really, i don’t deserve this. if there is someone you can really make me feel happy, i guess it’s not you. i’m not really sure if i should continue this. but then i’ll try.as i said “there’s no harm in trying..”.. it’s hard but, i guess and certainly feel. this is what you want..

count the ways, do the math. i guess. i’m letting go. .